Monday, February 3, 2014

blog life vs real life

Do you ever browse Instagram or blog posts and feel insanely inadequate because everyone's houses are perfect? Okay, cool, you do too.

I can't tell you how many times I've been scrolling through feeds and posts and been like, wow my house looks like the portal to hell compared to hers. Where are the cushions thrown off the couch? Where are the dog toys? Where is everyone's clothes?

Basically, where is everyone's mess?

I'm going to go ahead and admit something here. I'm freaking guilty of it too. So consider this my "coming clean". My house looks like a bag of assholes 90% of the time. If someone were to swing by unexpectedly, I would probably have a heart attack or become the fastest maid on the planet. Seriously.

If you're coming over for dinner, coming to hang out, or are just swinging by to snag something? I've been cleaning all damn morning. Having constant company is the only thing that keeps my house looking decent.

And so, the admission begins.

Everything is clean! My life feels so much better when this particular room is decluttered just because we spend so much time in here that it's the room that attributes to the most crap being everywhere.

Note the arranged coffee table with remotes and stacked magazines. The somewhat decent mantle. Vacuumed and pristine carpet. This makes me smile just looking at it. Also, dog nose.

Oh balls. Shit is just everywhere. Let's start.

Let's begin with the obvious. Where are the couch cushions? Well, they're behind the couch. It's much more spacious to starfish out without them on there. So, unless we have company, those puppies are off.

Ironing on the back chair. Footie pajamas on the chair with all the other couch pillows. Carl's Monty Python killer rabbit slipper (Ruby loves to steal and attack these). Doy toys all over. Dog photobomb. Frankly, I'm surprised that the remotes are on the table and not shoved into cushion narnia.

When I posted this on Instagram, I was really flattered by how many compliments we got. I can't take credit for our kitchen since it was designed this way when we moved in, but I just love it. Being a baker/cook, I was really fortunate to get such an awesome work space. Carl usually owns the kitchen chore and rocks it.

Um, pretty much. Last night's dinner is still in the sink and the pasta pot is still chillin' on the stove. I'm pretty sure there isn't anything in it. Dish towels and condiments everywhere. This is actually a tame picture of the kitchen when it's dirty. My mom, despite my best efforts, actually does my dishes if she stops by when we're at work.

Our bedroom. In blog life, the bed is perfectly made to my best efforts to look like Pottery Barn. Whatever. Tables are clear, everything is put away and looks nice and tidy. Makes my head feel less fuzzy.

The bedroom tends to be the place of mass dumping grounds, making it the most hated of the house to clean. I will stop right here and fully admit that this is 90% me, as evidence by the photo on the right. I have a problem with shoes. I hate putting anything away but shoes are extra heinous. There are at least 4 pairs of shoes sitting there, including reefs, which WTF with that since it's been 10 degrees here? This is just this frame of the room.

The mountain of clothes is all me too. Do you know what they are sitting on top of? That would be the laundry hamper. Which is empty, by the way. I have no idea why it's so hard to take the extra step and toss it in the hamper, but let's just equate it to the lazy of just tossing your plate in the sink instead of putting them in the dishwasher.

Also, we'll just assume the sheets are in the laundry. Normally that bed would be massively unkempt and unmade.

Can we also discuss that freaking screen in the corner? That's to our one window from when we had the AC unit in our room. Let's all take a minute to call out Carl for longest chore shirk 2014.

Welp, there it is. We are kind of messy. Whatever.  We like to spend weekends hanging out in sweatpants and playing video games because we can. It won't be that way forever, so just take solace in the fact that if you come over, the place will be clean.


K said...

To be fair, if Carl waits long enough, he won't have to put the screen back in. Hehe

Lauren H Edmondson said...

first of all "bag of assholes" is my new favorite descriptive phrase.

second of all, you are not alone in the real life/blog life house pics. Right now, Sawyer's playroom rug isn't even visible underneath toys, and a mountain of clothes (he takes off his clothes the second he enters the house, like, all his clothes). And this morning I put my purse down on my kitchen counter and had to PEEL it off, apparently I spilled something and then forgot about it.

Kenya said...

Love this... inspires me to do a post like this because my house is a mess and as you say, I only go into OCD cleaning mode when people are coming over. I also HATE putting clothes away... I stack them up till they start falling off my dresser on the floor. Worst part, hamper is right next to where I stack the crap up. I totally feel you!

Megan said...

Haha! I love this! We are the same way. I feel like I never have time to clean. Which is why I just don't post pictures of our place normally, haha!

I always see peoples pictures in their blogs and feeds and wonder how they have the money for all of the decor and how they have the time to do it. I mean I work 8-5 and then go to the gym and I barely have time to sit down and eat dinner. Oh well.

And I do love your kitchen. Especially your sink. I want one like that, haha!

The Veggie Polyglotographer said...

I never saw a post like this one before!!! It made me laugh!

Lynn said...

I love this post!

thepurplegypsy said...

i love it. My living room looks like fisher price and peptobismal threw up haha. I think i should petition all bloggers to post pics of their messy messy (real) lives lol

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